Inspired By A Song
by NamelessEpitaph
Summary: A series of one-shot/story fragments inspired by songs. Not song fics. God I hate song fics.
1. Traveler In Time

Traveler In Time

By ______

Disclaimer: All things contained from here on in are property of their rightful, legal owners and I am not benefiting monetarily from this in any way, shape or form that I am aware of.

Tom sighed unhappily as that daft, gray-bearded git set a basket down oh so tantalizingly close while simultaneously convincing one of his underlings that all was well.

To think the legendary man was senile this early in, perhaps he could have bested him. It would have been a glorious, simple thing for the old man to perish now and leave his web of pain unfinished and incapable of destroying so many lives. But should he fail and lose there would be no one to stop everything from repeating again and that single thought stilled his hand.

The two mage departed, leaving the dosing infant apparently unguarded and unobserved. Doubtlessly the old fool expected his recast blood wards to shield the boy despite not even having entered the house proper. But in order for that to happen, Tom would need to intend to hurt one of the people in the house, wouldn't he? And while he wished to slay those vile muggles for being and acting just like the creatures that he'd been forced to room with in his youth, he knew better. They had yet to commit the crimes and abuse he knew them to be capable of.

If anything, he wanted to assist and heal the slumbering child, perhaps that was why the wards designed specifically against him ignored his presence as he stepped lightly up to basket.

Such a fragile, innocent thing, a baby. To think anyone could sleep so soundly after vanquishing a dark lord, how ever briefly.

In an instant his wand was out and flying through an intricate pattern of sweeps, dips and flicks.

The pair, wizard and infant, were made invisible and inaudible. The monitoring charms upon the babe were cast aside shifted to the odious muggle spawn somewhere within the abode, the wards were easily fractured and despoiled, left only intact enough to register as existing, like framework for a wall-less house. The magical blocks were unplugged and the parasitic soul fragment smothered into oblivion before it could truly take root.

Satisfied with his work he lifted the basket and swept away.

He had never raised a child before, never even considered it since his graduation, but he could work that issue out as he went. The boy would be Hufflepuff. Maybe Ravenclaw, but Hufflepuff would be preferred. Slytherin would have been ideal, if not for the head of that house holding a deep grudge and the number of Death Eater supporters found in it. Gryffindor was clearly inadequate, given how things had gone last time. Not that it had ever been, mindless glory-hogs the lot of them.

No, what the boy needed most was not bravado and bravery, much as it made enemies angry enough to commit themselves to errors. He needed friends, allies and diligence. He needed knowledge, comprehension and control. Hufflepuff supplied one, Ravenclaw encouraged the other. Wherever they might fall short, Tom would do whatever it took to make up the difference for.

Things would be different this time.

The wizard quickly forged a portkey and activated it, apparating to a new location as he reappeared, to stand before the decrepit shack the last of his ancestors had owned. A dozen quick spells and the place was renovated into a suitable house, the ring hidden within collected and smothered with energy. Wards were raised and refined. A suitable, if temporary arrangement.

Regrets swept through the adult as he placed the sleeping child in a newly transfigured crib.

For all he was the man was truly, deeply sorrowful.

His crimes were great, true, but never had he actually been made to face their results before.

No, that wasn't true. The whole reason he was here was because in the end he'd been forced to face all his crimes at once. An apocalypse of his own creation where the magical had died. Pureblood, what a foolish ideal that was. There were barely enough witches and wizards to sustain the population after the first campaign, the second, fifteen years later, left it teetering on the brink before he'd started clipping away the muggleborn. Not to mention the creatures killed and harvested to fuel an army.

When he had first realized he was a wizard he had been happy. Magic meant he was safe, capable of anything. It gave him the power to ascend beyond mortal limitations, to make it so that no one would ever be orphaned again. Funny how as he learned the goal shifted into something that made there be more orphans than ever before among the magical populations.

The beautiful and innocent dreams of youth were set aside to build the power to accomplish them and somewhere on that path he'd lost himself to that same power.

He'd succeeded in one way, at least. When he'd finally come down, when he'd finally realized there was no more magical world left, when he'd finally tried to kill himself...

That's when he discovered he was truly immortal. Beyond the longevity rituals, beyond the Horcrux, beyond his own might and comprehension... Trapped within life an unable to free himself...

Years of rummaging and reconstructing ruins had finally yielded his answer, some decades after his first suicide attempt.

There was only one thing that could kill him. Only one means available to him. The one born as the seventh month died, the one he'd marked as his equal...

Perhaps the child would be lucky and find, in his old age, that without the other attempts at immortality he could perish after fulfilling the prophecy. Perhaps.

But as it was there was much to do. Much to answer for and far too many crimes to pay.

And a few more crimes to commit yet. Both Hogwarts and Gringotts would need to be broken into. He'd need to deal with Malfoy as well and in ten years he'd need to go wraith hunting...

Tom chuckled, there was time enough for all of that later. No one knew who he was, a few Death Eaters might see an uncanny similarity but between the revival, the attempts to destroy himself and the sheer amount of time that he'd endured in this shell of a body he could claim to be whoever he wanted. But then again he'd just gotten used to his old name again and no one associated the two. No one but Dumbledore anyway.

He cast his gaze to the young, peacefully dreaming child he was to raise. He felt bad for the boy, but somethings had to be done. Dumbledore had had his senile idea of what to do and even been allowed to fail spectacularly at it, now it was his turn. It would be a kinder life in someways and an infinitely more difficult one in others as he would prepare the boy one way or another.

Fitting in a way, as it was Tom's crimes the child would be raised to prevent.

And ultimately, when the time finally came, it was Tom Marvolo Riddle the boy would be killing.

Who better to train him then Tom Marvolo Riddle himself?

#Author's Notes#

Inspired by Uriah Heep song 'Traveler In Time' on the album Demons And Wizards.

You may note the association is tenuous at best.


	2. Fall Dog Bombs The Moon

Fall Dog Bombs The Moon

By ______

Lord Zetta gazed at the rose laying on the cement before his feet dispassionately. Less than a second ago it had tried to pierce his skin somewhere on his chest, probably aiming for his heart, though he hadn't actually been paying attention at the time.

"Don't lose hope, Sailor Moon!" A masculine voice cried as a dark form in costume ball evening wear appeared on the roof of a nearby building.

Zetta snorted as the abused little human cheerleader before him forced herself to her feet again, barely able to maintain a wobbling pose.

A soldier on his right moved to put her down, but he waved her off to deal with the interloper. Then he lazily stepped up to the child, easily towering over her by nearly two feet, and seized her throat with the thumb and index finger of his right hand, allowing the rest of his nails to dig painfully deep into the flesh of her back and shoulder. He lifted her up, almost eye to eye with him, idly noting that she was struggling to breath against his grip. "And just what are you hoping for, little girl?" A simple flick of his wrist threw her through a light pole and into the side of a large stone wall.

He followed at a slow gait, mildly amused by this distraction. Very few of the worlds he'd been to had mustered any form of response to his invasion. And those that had typically used some form of spaceship to try and deter him, never allowing a face to face meeting between hero and overlord, as tradition demanded. Annoying Goa'uld...

An absent kick knocked aside the defeated cheerleader in ruby-red from where she laid in his path.

"Hoping to stop me from stealing this world's mana? Hoping that my wife will waste away before it reaches her? Or perhaps hoping someone will rescue you?" As he stuck his head into the gap the senshi's impact had made, another person made herself known.

"World Shaking!"

The yellowish bolt of energy struck his shoulder, dissipating uselessly other than 'ruffling' his fiery hair. Seeing his current playmate was knocked out, he decided to indulge the new target. Assuming his soldiers hadn't already dealt with her.

Ah, an impenetrable barrier with three more little cheer-leading heroines hiding in it. How impressive. But things like that worked both ways.

The most freaking badass overlord in the universe lifted one foot and made as if to crush the unconscious sapphire-blue cheerleader's hips beneath it.

"Deep Su-"

"World Sh-"

The barrier dropped in preparation as the aquamarine-blue cheerleader and topaz-yellow cheerleader both moved to attack. He stood among them before they even gathered the energy. Backhands sent the larger two flying, letting him seize the smallest, amethyst-purple one and smash her head against the pavement while simultaneously unleashing energy attacks powerful enough to make the roadway material molten when it struck the other two.

More and more he was finding these allegedly human girls surprisingly durable. Strange, humans had always seemed so frail centuries before he'd become overlord. Then again, put a normal demon against an overlord or a normal human up against these cheerleaders...

"Dead scream."

The word were uttered at just under a whisper and the attack itself dissipated harmlessly against his palm as the mighty demon tried to throw it back, if only to see if he could.

"For the sake of Crystal Tokyo..." The new, actually somewhat attractive by demon standards, cheerleader cried, wielding some sort of mystical staff.

There were a few things being an overlord taught you, and chief among them was that the most dangerous opponents were typically the last to appear, either because they felt no need to rush or were simply smart enough to let others tire and gauge the target first.

A combination of this knowledge and boredom prompted the most dangerous enemy the Senshi would ever face to run his arm straight through Sailor Pluto's torso, skewering her and snapping her staff like a twig.

The greenette's dark red eyes widen marginally before she toppled over, more distraught over the damage to the Garnet Rod than to her own body.

"Setsuna-mama! Death Reborn Rev-" The little purple cheerleader cried, lifting her glaive and channeling a disturbingly vast amount of mana. Hmph, to think the frailest looking would be the most powerful. By the time a demon, any demon, got that strong they were easily able to look however they wanted. All the signs he knew to look for said the obsidian-black cheerleader was the most powerful...

She was silenced by a prinny sniper firing a super-charged bullet through her right side.

"Tsk. And I was just starting to have a good time." Zetta declared.

"Sorry dood, but we're finished and we got ninety-nine percent of this world's mana already dood." The avian plushy responded promptly.

"Why'd you stop at ninety-nine? Take all of it, dammit, Salome needs every drop of mana we can lay our hands on, you know that!" The mightiest known demon roared, his power flaring out.

"We, uh, we tried dood, we really, really tried! But these girls are somehow blocking the transfer and, and... Please don't kill me dood!"

"Argh! Worthless!" Zetta threw a brief fit, blasting the massive volume of energy his rage had built into the sky where, completely on accident, it destroyed the moon in a gigantic, dusty explosion. "Huff, how's this world look then? Will it ever recover enough to make it worth the trouble of draining it again?"

"W, we don't know for sure, dood. Everywhere but this city and a some of the area around it is frozen wastes and totally lifeless. I guess in like, ten thousand years or so dood..." The prinny mused, shoving its rifle away into its pouch before pulling out a calculator.

"Hmm." After a few moments thought, the most badass overlord decided it had at least been nostalgic to beat up some magical girl type heroines for a while. Best make sure they put in a better showing next time. The emerald-green, top-heavy cheerleader was closest.

"Oi." Zetta nudged the knocked out girl's hip with the toe of his boot, sending purple pulses of energy through her with each impact. Finally he picked her up by the stupid bow on the front of her uniform and slapped her 'gently', the strike making a loud 'smack' as an overlord's standard of gentle didn't match up to a human's.

The brunette groaned, green eyes fluttering open before the right one clenched shut as blood running down from her hairline just happened to cross over it.

The overlord graciously ignored the streams of blood running from her forehead and nose. He'd seen heroes in worse shape after facing him, coming out of such a fight in relatively good condition was the sort of thing that should earn respect anywhere in this universe and more than a few adjacent to it.

Writhing back to consciousness with an extremely powerful demon grinning dangerously while almost nose to nose with you is not something Makoto ever wanted to experience again.

"Ah good, you're awake. Just wanted to let you know, kid, we've finished up for now, but we'll be back in a few thousand years. You better train up if you want to even slow me down next time brat." The overlord casually told the terrified human girl before tossing her 'gently' onto the cheerleader in amber-yellow. Wouldn't do to kill a messenger who hadn't delivered yet, right?

"We' leaving." Zetta commanded, tearing open a gate for his forces to file through back to his netherworld.

"Pluto! Saturn!" He heard the girl cry out before the gate closed behind him. He wasn't worried though, if they were worth his attention they'd survive those wounds easy, if not he didn't care.

###

"Salome." Zetta acknowledged quietly, taking his lover's ashen hand as he crouched by her bedside for what felt like the millionth time.

"Zetta, my love..." The woman mumbled back, trying not to cough.

"I got another world. The Sacred Tome wasn't there, but they had plenty of mana. Just hang on, Salome."

"I always will, my love."

For the next few moments Zetta watched as the power he'd collected was added to his wife's own, ashen gray skin turning to smooth ivory and dwindling mana reignited to levels almost befitting a powerful overlord in their own right. For the next few hundred years he could be happy with the woman he loved again, before her strength drained into his own.

The Jurians had inexplicably risen in power, perhaps he should check their homeworld for the Sacred Tome next...

One day he'd find the damn book that started this and whether by making a counter wish, erasing Salome's old wish or even tearing every page out of it one by one, his wife would be free.

Even if he destroyed himself, even if he was the one to slowly drain away in her stead...

Salome would live.

#Author's Notes#

Inspired by David Bowie song 'Fall Dog Bombs The Moon' on the album Reality.

For those of you somewhat unfamiliar with Sailor Moon, yes, Zetta did just cause the Great Freeze.

For those of you somewhat unfamiliar with Makai Kingdoms, I'm assuming Salome wished Zetta to be a powerful overlord in the Sacred Tome and from there it just drained the mana needed. Only instead of draining the entire cost immediately, it drains continuously to keep him at that level. From there, the standard happy ending of the game except she still has the 'disease' and nobody noticed when 'Trinia' quietly vanished.

Oh and our on site spellchecker says human's isn't actually a word in the English language. A language it also insists on capitalizing. Nor is glaive, which I can sort of understand as no one really uses a glaive anymore. We all have halberds and naginata now.


	3. Great Sun Jester

Great Sun Jester

By ______

Naruto groaned into consciousness as light from beyond his darkened cell shone onto his face. He clenched his eyes shut in pain soon after, his exposure to light having been so minimal that even the dim torches scattered along the corridor hurt to look at. For three long years he'd been locked in near total darkness as the door was designed to resist attempts to escape and attempts to kill held prisoners before their knowledge was extracted. Should someone gas the prison, those in cells were more likely to survive than any ANBU guards outside.

"Grab him Kisame. We need to get out of here." A calm voice commanded, followed by an explosion and incoherent cries of pain.

"Seesh, look at all these chains. Gaki must be pretty dangerous, eh Itachi?" A gruffer, more menacing voice said from inside the doorway.

There was a metal sound and a whoosh of air as the blond felt his arms go slack from their restraints before toppling forward, finally able to fall out of the kneeling pose he'd been confined in.

"Thanks." Naruto croaked wearily, slowly rising to his feet against the stiffness and pain as numerous bones popped noisily back into working joints.

"Phef, after all that trouble with the eight tails this is a disappointment. This brat really contains the greatest biju?"

Blue eyes opened slowly, seeing only blurred shadows. Before he knew it he was hoisted up and bodily dragged beyond the entrance of his cell, promptly recovering as the cold drain on his chakra vanished, replaced with the blazing heat of extremely rapid regeneration.

Naruto's now focused eyes turned their attention to the man holding him aloft by the collar of his rags. "Thanks again."

"Heh. Don't mention it brat, we're only dragging you off to kill you." The sharkman grinned sadistically while eviscerating an ANBU with his oversized sword.

The former prisoner shrugged, unconcerned, before donning a sly grin. "Don't have much to live for anyway. Being locked in a cell for years will do that to you."

The sharkman looked dissatisfied, smashing another Konoha-nin between the flat of his blade and the wall, messily shaving away layers of flesh as he pulled his weapon back. "Well after we kill you, we'll use the power we get from the kyuubi to decimate everyone until we're the unopposed rulers of the world."

"Good for you." The blond told him enthusiastically, grin not fading in the least as he wrest himself free from the blue-gray fingers holding him and landed acrobatically on the floor in a bow. "You wouldn't happen to need any help getting out of here, would you?"

"Dammit, gaki, we're going to destroy everything you hold dear."

"Kisame." The calmer voice commanded softly, making the larger Akatsuki agent flinch.

"What? I missed out on the Hachibi, why shouldn't I see what this brat can do?" The fishman shouted back, killing the last ANBU in reach.

"Oh, you can't do that. They're already dead." Naruto squinted, tilting his head and holding his fingertips in front of his grinning lips, looking incredibly disturbing. "The guards made sure I knew how Iruka-sensei, Ayame-nee-chan and Ichiraku-jiji died. It was how they tortured me since they weren't sure my death would release the kyuubi or not. As for Hokage-jiji, his death let them lock me up in the first place." His smirk dimmed slightly before being replaced with a radiant, joyous smile. "But it's okay now because I can join them when I die too! So if you need to kill me in a certain place or something, well... I've waited months since Iruka-sensei died, what's a few more days? I owe you at least that."

Kisame shuddered and Itachi inclined his head oddly, their momentarily distraction allowing a flaming dragon to appear at the end of the hall, its fiery body licking the walls as it soared towards them. As the Uchiha and Hoshigaki prepared handsigns, Naruto stepped forward and tossed his hand in a flippant dismissal, a tiny, pale blue flame appearing before him and flying into the jutsu. The dragon immediately burst, the fire composing it guttering out as a trail of ghostly blue flames sped down and through the chakra within in like a line of gasoline, ending at the jutsu caster.

The ANBU screamed as his coil and chakra network ignited, roasting his body from within while wreathes of dark blue flame guttered and died trying to consume the rest of him.

The Akatsuki were stunned into silence.

"Foxfire." Naruto noted simply, sly grin and narrow eyed squint in place once more. "Burns really hot but only chakra will fuel it. Now come on, hurry. The sooner we leave the sooner I get to see jiji and Iruka again!" The smirking ex-prisoner took the two nuke-nins by their arms and dashed towards the exit with them in tow.

It had started with the henge no jutsu, back in Naruto's first attempt to graduate from the academy. The jutsu had been easy and it almost seemed that within a few weeks of learning it he'd been able to perform it without handsigns.

From there he'd wondered what else he could do, still a bit naive about the way chakra worked thanks to lackluster teachers. The end result, created just before his first failure, had been foxfire.

Much of Konohagakure soon found itself plagued by pale blue flames that darted in and out of the edges of a person's vision.

The council roared possession and soon took steps to see the demon-brat killed. After the jounin burned to death from the inside out trying to fulfill his orders, the Hokage had quelled them.

Killing one of his attackers had left the boy sullen and shaken, though also turned his tormentors away from actively displaying their hatred.

As their shunning attempts grew more determined, so did his attempts to get their attention he became little more than a bright, brash clown.

By the time he'd failed a third time he'd lost interest in being a ninja. After learning kage bunshin and of the kyuubi he saw no reason to try and earn respect from the blind civilians and set off to try and find a way to live among people who didn't know him.

As it turned out, street performers who willing used ninja skills as part of their act were a novelty. Within a little under two months he was something of a famous traveling act, between his clones and his transformation abilities he could and did perform in any venue all by himself.

As the second month ended news of the disaster in Konoha was spreading and soon the council, unimpeded by a kage, kidnapped him and quietly locked him away. The new Hokage never even knew to look.

"The guards have doubtlessly alerted the rest of the ANBU. We will need to create a distraction and..." Itachi trailed off as he felt a familiar presence approach.

"Itachi." Jiraiya stood tall, almost boastfully so, as he led the Hokageand a squad of elite jounin into the smaller group's hiding place. "You know we can't let you leave with him."

"So this brat's the kyuubi, huh?" The blond, busty and unusually sober leader of Konoha asked tactlessly, stepping up to stand side by side with her fellow sennin.

Considering that the one they were trying to 'rescue' had been tortured and abused for untold years just because people always equated him with said demon, it turned out to be the wrong thing to say.

"Why yes, I am the kyuubi. Did you not recognize me without my..." An explosion of red chakra burst through the room as the jinchuriki's skin started peeling off and burning, four tails of crimson and black unfurling behind him. "Tails?"

Laughing maniacally, the never-was-a-ninja lashed out with both claws, failing to capture either target. It was a minor consolation that some of the elite shinobiwere poisoned by proximity even if he never did quite connect.

"Dammit Jiraiya, you said he'd be on our side!" The second greatest kunoichi alive shouted. (1)

"And I told you he wasn't the kyuubi!" The absolute greatest pervert in several millennium in either direction yelled back, landing on another nearby roof by now.

"Kage bunshin." Hundreds of blond, naked, skinless clones appeared and immediately started causing as much pandemonium as two rival ninja theater troupes competing for the same venue. In the exact same manner.

"Urk." All while the Hokage fainted, leaving herself defenseless among a swarm of enemies and therefore the priority to those ninja not dying slow, painful deaths from demon-chakra poisoning. Oh, if only she had been in some sort of situation that made her get over that ridiculous hemophobia she'd still be conscious after seeing skinless Narutos.

"Have at the, knave!" Generic western play extra shouted, a quick henge putting him in an instant and complete costume.

"Hn!" Generic kabuki play hero replied, doing the same.

Original Naruto whipped off the kyuubi-cloak and turned to his companions. "There, distraction. Oh! This too!" A dozen fake throws later and thousands of little will-o-wisps scattered themselves through the streets of Konohagakure, tracking and attaching themselves to whatever source of chakra they could find. Seeing his kidnappers stare, he started dragging them off again.

Somewhere in the distance a ninja screamed and a blue flame flared and died.

"We're not gonna get to fight anyone, are we?" Kisame grumbled.

It was panic in the village.

Famous characters from numerous plays and films were rampaging through the streets, reciting lines while dueling each other with ninja tricks that never quite worked on their 'target', instead striking whatever poor bystander had the misfortune of being nearby. On top of this, the cursed fox fire of the kyuubi had appeared en mass, quickly consuming any shinobi or kunoichi who dared tried to stop the actors.

But Hinata didn't care about that. What mattered to her was that she recognized the chakra of those clones and their presence could only mean one thing. He was back! Naruto had returned!

With everything that was happening, it was pretty obvious he would be leaving again soon, so she had to hurry. After years of stalking, the way he'd leave was axiomatic to her and if she wanted to catch up to him, she needed to hurry!

The end of her sprint saw her arrive just a three figures were about to leave the village perimeter. "Naruto!"

The middle figure startled, dropping the other two as he turned around in a single, smooth sweep. And stared, curious but not alarmed. "Do I know you?"

"It's me. I-I'm Hinata. Hinata Hyuga, we had c,classes together..." Between panting from exertion and inborn stuttering the girls still managed to be mostly coherent.

"Oh, a ninja. I'm sorry, but I've already told these two they can kill me, so you'll have to tell the Hokage and all her little pet ANBU they already had their chance and if they can't kill someone they've locked up in a cell they can't be counted on to reliably kill them once freed, can they?" The blond cheerfully told the pale-eyed girl, eliciting a gasp.

"T, the Hokage has had you locked up? B,but that c,can't be right, she's sent so many missions to look for you..." The young kunoichi trialed off, already seeing the kind of political game that could create this situation.

"Well clearly she was sending the wrong ninja to assassinate me then, though in their defense every hallway did look the same."

"She wasn't trying to assassinate you!"

"Are you done? We really need to get moving you know, and I don't see this conversation amounting to much beyond this."

"B,but- I... I l,lo... I love you!" Hinata confessed, desperate that somehow saying it would make things better.

"Phef, no you don't, you don't even know me." Naruto turned to leave, glad that the other two had collected themselves.

"Y,yes I do! You're Naruto Uzumaki, you like ramen and training and sitting on the Yondaime's head. Your favorite place in the village is Ichiraku's ramen stand and you hate how Sasuke always gets praised even when he doesn't deserve it. You enjoy gardening and spending time with Sandaime-sama in his office. You're sad because everyone in the village ignores you and thinks you're the kyuubi!"

Kisame moved to grab their target and run, but Itachi stilled him with a hand gesture, apparently enraptured by this confession.

"Heh heh. You knew the old Naruto pretty well. I suppose you also knew the one thing he wanted most in the world?"

"A f,friend."

"Yes, that's right. A friend. One person to be there for him. Ichiraku and Jiji were always busy, Ayame wavered between a girl annoyed by his immaturity and an older sister, so he'd never know if he could talk to her that day or not and Iruka-sensei hated him until he decided to leave. Right up until he knew about the kyuubi he pined away at the very thought, ready to accept anyone who offered..." Naruto trailed off almost fondly. "You knew this and yet you let him be alone. Knew he'd take anyone and still refused to extend your hand. You let him become me. After failing him like that, can you honestly claim what you feel is love?"

"I, I was weak then. Weak and afraid. But I c,changed. I'm not the girl who let that happen anymore!"

"That doesn't matter, I'm not the boy you loved anymore. Locked in the dark, I became the monster this village fears. But, happily for us both, that monster's wandering off to die." Naruto concluded blissfully, turning to leave.

"I won't let you!" Hinata shouted, adopting the Jyuuken stance. "I failed you once and won't do it again!"

Naruto turned, eyes squinted shut and lips curved in a smirk. "So you're going to stop me from being with the only people who made me happy in the next life?"

"I won't let you kill yourself! If it means hurting you, or even making you hate me to keep you alive... I,I'll do it."

"Hinata." The jinchuriki said easily, sliding towards her with his arms apart, unarmed.

"N,Naruto..."

It was like something out of Hinata's dreams. Naruto flowed up to her and embraced her, pressing his lips against hers. With a struggle she managed to limit her reaction to a bright red face and nosebleed instead of passing out. There were still two powerful nuke-nin standing mere feet away and... And as she gazed into her love's mischievous blue eyes she knew she'd be able to die happy fighting at his side.

One of his hands reached up to playfully flick her nose, sparking into a ball of fox fire that latched greedily onto the large quantity of chakra gathered in the Hyuga's eyes. She collapsed, dead in his arms before she even realized what was going on. Naruto lovingly cradled her body and gently laid it out on the ground, kissing her forehead before he rose to follow his escorts. "If it's meant to be we'll make it work next time, okay?"

"That was cold gaki. I think I'm starting to like you." Kisame said with a fangy grin.

"Oh? But she wanted to be with me right? And if I'm going to die, she has to be dead to be with me, so everyone's happy this way." The prankster replied, smiling and squinting again.

"We are wasting time. Come, Kisame." Itachi broke in suddenly, leading the other two away.

"Hmph. Weren't that eager to leave a few minutes ago were ya Itachi?" The sharkman snorted, following after his partner.

The group got in three or four leaps before...

"Itachi!" A young man's voice cried, accompanied by some kind of mini-Itachi jumping at normal-Itachi with a screeching blue blot in his hand. How the hell had this guy sneaked up on them?

"Sasuke." Big-Itachi acknowledged, brushing the attack aside and walloping his miniature with a palm strike to the forehead. "I'm busy at the moment."

"Hold it right there, Itachi." A new voice commanded as a few squads worth of ninja descended on their location.

"Ano? That was fast. Are you guys just ignoring the fact that your village is getting destroyed to deal with us?" Naruto questioned, head tilted to one side.

"Even if Konoha is destroyed, better that than Akatsuki extracting the kyuubi." A pineapple haired jounin stated as the blond girl and fat guy beside him moved into flanking positions.

"Even if you were annoying, we'll still rescue you." A pink-haired kunoichion the team opposite the pineapple haired one's commented as the three others with her spread out.

"So someone broke jiji's law... And why does everyone think I want to be rescued?" The blond not-a-ninja asked as the two super shinobi beside him tensed for battle.

"It's not that hard to guess actually. They tracked down eight other biju and then came here to kidnap you? There can be only one reason at this point." Pineapple-head muttered aloud, hands adopting an odd sign. "I can't think of any motive for you joining them, though."

"He's under a genjutsu." The silver-haired jounin with the pink-haired kunoichi suggested, tugging up his hitai-ite to reveal another red, tomoe encircled eye. Why the hell were there so many of those laying around? "Hmm. Maybe not."

"So? Come on then, who thinks they can take down the kyuubi?" Naruto offered, turning his squinted eyes from one ninja to another.

"You... you're just like that monster, Gaara." The pinkette shivered even as she said that.

Naruto simply turned a pointed look at Itachi. "The Ichibi's jinchuriki." Was the deadpan response as the Uchiha gauged his foes.

The last jinchuriki tilted his head at that. "...I suppose a tanuki is kind of like a kitsune..." He acknowledged after a moment's thought.

The other team was suddenly attacking, a shadow and a giant fist flying towards the Uchiha and the Hoshigaki respectively. Naruto zoned out briefly as the blond kunoichi collapsed, but the kyuubi swallowed the mind-jumper before she could actually take control. As a result, when the silver-haired jounin moved to collect his body and flee, he received a ball of fox-fire to the face, burning his Sharingan first before reverse engineering the implanted lines into his proper chakra network and setting the rest of him alight.

Seeing what appeared to be his former ANBU captain grab the target while he kept just ahead of a flowing shadow, Itachi shouted to his partner. "Kisame, we are outnumbered. We will have to try again later."

Kisame grunted in frustrated acceptance, his blade shaving thick slabs of flesh away from his enemy's enlarged arm, but not doing enough damage to actually stop him.

"Right, let's fall back." Naruto agreed, Kakashi's smoldering corpse falling away from him.

"S,sensei..." The pinkette murmured in shock as pale blue flames scattered from what she thought was an annoying classmate from years ago.

Shikamaru startled as the one of the flames caught on his shadow, trailing back towards him. Thinking quickly he launched all the chakra he could spare at it, stopping the flame in a silent, dark blue explosion and burning out some of the tenketsu in his extremities. He fell onto his back, panting in exhaustion. "Dammit Ino, what happened?" He quietly asked his teammate's fallen form.

"You better not steal this one, gaki!" Kisame shouted, dodging an enormous hand.

"He's not throwing around any chakra." The jinchuriki replied, watching.

"Tsukuyomi." Itachi intoned, disabling what appeared to be the last capable enemy not engaged in life and death combat with Kisame.

"I expected more for some reason." Kisame gloated, a massive wave washing into the Akimichi, allowing the shark ninja to slash open his throat and topple him.

"Dynamic entry!" A green blur shot into the clearing, smashing into Kisame's forehead and sending him reeling before Gai landed in his typical stance.

"You jinxed it." Naruto noted, stepping a bit farther from the battle field.

A rain of pointy implements crashed against Samehada, dealing no damage but minorly inconveniencing its wielder.

"Tsukuyomi." And off to one side Itachi proved the sheer superiority of the Sharingan by putting a Byakugan user into a genjutsu coma. 'See through any genjutsu' apparently didn't count on a slightly frustrated Sharingan user.

"Hmm. They don't seem to be using any chakra outside their bodies... All yours, Kisame!" The jester mocked, moving closer to Itachi's position.

"I'll gut you, you green bastard!" The sharkman roared, though if it was a response to Naruto or simply a declaration of intent to Gai remained to be seen.

Naruto yawned, watching the former Kiri-nin unleash another suiton jutsu. The green guy and his chunin support managed to hold their own, though honestly he thought Kisame was holding back to prolong the battle. "Can we just go already? I'm sure sharky can catch up."

"Shh."

"Oh come on." The fox-holder smirked thinly with squinted eyes again. "At the least, you should help him clear them out faster."

"Itachi!" Mini-Itachi, regaining his footing and activating his own Sharingan.

The elder Uchiha inclined his head, but made no other move as the kid version of him charged.

And fell to the side, his head blackened as his kekkei genkai was exposed to the pale blue flames littering the area.

"That's just sad." Naruto noted, only partially interested.

In contrast the older brother froze, swaying as though he were about to fall to his knees in shock.

With a splash the other Akatsuki-nin defeated his foes. "Heh heh. That green bastard was barely even... oi, Itachi, you alright?" The proud sharkman stumbled, totally unused to the killing intent permeating the air around his partner.

"I see. So all this time has been wasted. But even then, I cannot allow Madarato be victorious..." Itachi turned to face his partner.

"Heh heh. Once a traitor, always a traitor eh? So that's why you were stalling..." The shark leveled his weapon, already knowing he was dead.

"And guided us to those meant to change his mind, and disabled those ninja I could." The Sharingan warped and spun, emitting a tiny black spark before its wielder. "Amaterasu."

The shark lunged, heedless of his own demise burning towards him, and sliced through the Uchiha's armor and cloak, splaying a wave of blood through the air as black flames disintegrated his body.

"I suppose you expect me to quietly go back to my cage now, huh?" Naruto quipped at the dying Sharingan user.

"No. That would be... foolish." The fox smirked at the unspoken admission. "Instead..." The Mangekyo Sharingan spun ominously as its user expired. "...Kamui..."

"Wha..." A whirling shift of time and space threw itself into Naruto's body as the world went black.

Narutostumbled onto his feet as everything flashed a blinding white and he reappeared on a paved road encroached by towering structures of glass and metal. "...t?" The jester looked around himself and came to a profound conclusion upon seeing his dead body lying on the ground and the utter lack of reincarnation. That bastard had sent him to a different after life!

Absently setting a white masked creature alight with his fox fire, the never was a ninja thought about what he'd do now.

#Author's Notes#

Inspired by Blue Oyster Cult song 'Great Sun Jester' on the album Mirrors.

1 – What, you thought she was greater than the Mizukage? Get real, this version still has too many issues.

Fangy – Toothy, but with fangs instead of teeth.

Hitai-Ite – Ninja headband thing.


End file.
